Oh my goodness, it has been so long! Apparently when you have two kids, it's really easy for the time to fly by without even noticing it. It's been easy to get behind on everything: work, friends, self-care. So thank you for coming back on this journey with me as we dive back into the world that is mental health.
I wanted to start back with sharing a little bit about my personal experiences since becoming a mother of two.
I'll start by saying this: it is freaking hard!
I feel like some days are never ending and other days are over in a flash and then I look back at the week and have no idea how I got to weekend already.
Back and forth from getting the kids to preschool and the babysitter. Working full-time, Keeping the house clean. Getting groceries. Keeping the kids alive and well. Finding time for my marriage. And somewhere in between all of the chaos I have to try and find a few minutes for myself.
If you're a parent, then you get my struggle!
After having my daughter, I had a bought of postpartum depression and anxiety. I had a really hard time letting anyone other than myself care for her, including my husband! I'd be so tired and overwhelmed, but constantly had the thought of 'I'm the mom; I need to do it all.' Thankfully, I was able to work through that and with my second child, who just turned one, it's been much easier for me to ask for help when I need it.
My daughter has been an amazing big sister and took to this role with ease. Sure, there are days where she may feel a little jealous, but watching her with brother has been amazing. She is constantly making sure he is okay and happy. If he starts crying, she starts singing to him and does whatever she can to make him laugh. He always crawls up to her and says "sissy" and my heart just melts. I'm so thankful that the transition to big sister for my daughter was a smooth one, because I know that is not always the case.
For me, however, the transition from one to two kids was a little bit more of a challenge. Having anxiety, while much more manageable now, often causes me to question myself as a mom on a daily basis.
Did I give them enough individual attention today?
Did I play with them enough?
Did I read enough books?
Did they get too much screen time today?
Is it fine that we ate cereal for dinner because I didn't feel like cooking?
What if I don't do baths tonight because I'm just too tired?
Again, if you're a parent or caregiver, then you can relate to this all too well.
One thing I've learned since being a mom of two is that I'm allowed to give myself a little bit of grace.
It's obviously fine that they ate cereal for dinner tonight. It's okay if we skip baths tonight and do them tomorrow. Too much TV today? It's fine; we'll play outside tomorrow.
I find myself trying to focus more on the things we did do than the things we did not and it has helped my mom anxiety quite a bit.
We did fill the day with lots of love and smiles. We ended the day with a bedtime story. We are all happy and healthy.
And those are the things that truly matter.
So while it has been an adjustment for me to become a full-time working mom of two, it has been a wonderful journey thus far. Thanks for sticking with me through my hiatus from writing and I hope you enjoy diving back into my weekly blog posts about my experiences working in mental health.